late night ramblings.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be initiating.  I want to be the kind of person who starts conversations, and relationships, and other things that have to be started…but really. That’s what Jesus does for us. He doesn’t wait for us to come to him–rather, he chases after us with a fierce and relentless love, knowing that we need to be pursued.  I want to know how to love and pursue people like that. Selflessly, unconditionally, passionately. Yeah, people will think I’m crazy at times. But they already often think that, so it’s not like that will be anything new…I want the people that I minister to and interact with on a daily basis to know so clearly who Jesus is and what he stands for.

Mother Teresa (I always call her Mama T in my head because I once read a book in which she was called that. Somehow I don’t think it gives her the full respect she deserves, but I’m still thinking about that one.) once said “Following Jesus is simple, but it isn’t easy.  Love until it hurts, and then love some more.” And oh man, am I ever learning what it means to love until it hurts!  There was a little boy here awhile ago who followed me everywhere. He would sit by me in chapel, come into my office all the time, try to hold my hand (real casually), and so on. His mom is a single mom, my age, with three other kids.  She just didn’t have the time or energy or resources to love her kids well, so they looked for affection from anyone they came into contact with. It broke my heart, but I realized what an opportunity there was to show Jesus to these kids.  I was able to tell the little guy, “Hey. You know I love you, right? Well…I know this guy named Jesus who loves you way more than I ever could.” And really, sometimes that’s all we can do–just tell people that they’re loved, and then follow through with our actions.

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